smoke in your room and colour your hair

2009-04-11T16:45:00.001-07:00

HEY YOU

2009-02-04T01:44:00.000-08:00

i've moved, this blog doesn't let me breath. its aura is TOTALLY OVER coloured.

CATCH UP FAST.

MARY KEEP ON ROLLIN

2009-01-18T16:44:00.000-08:00

i'm entirely sick to death of everything seen here:

working retail and going to art-school have probably added to the rapid decline of these in my regards. I'M GUILTY TOO GUYS, WE ARE ALL IN THE WRONG HERE.

i'm calling for some sort of revolution, whats next!? if i see more fake ray-ban wayfarers, ironic hats, unnecessary eye-glasses, or neon, come spring i'll flip.

COME ON KIDS.

GLITTER-PUNKS

2009-01-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

i'm astounded by the recent discovery of a performance troupe from the sixties and seventies called the cockettes. i don't know how i haven't stumbled on them somehow already. the documentary, the cockettes, is delightful and low-budget.

(FOUNDER- HIBISCUS)

i have been going through this stage where i think i need to streamline and de-clutter and modernize and grow up. but damn these guys make me want to add to my old-lady opium den wardrobe feathers and velvet and lace and fur and jewelry jewelry. and i'm mourning the lack of beautiful boys with no boundaries, drug habits, christ-complexes, and curly curly beard heads here in 2009.

INTERMINABLE

2009-01-08T17:01:00.000-08:00

i am so racked with boredom. i am usually very content to do nothing. i actually left my house with the intention (and the shorts) to work out. someone is in the weight room so thats out.

i have watched some great movies. Pink Narcissus, and Matador. I wouldn't recommend Pink Narcissus. Its beautiful but too
aimless. Its better as a google image search than as a movie. Oh i take that back, watch it, if like me you have 100 years of nothing ahead of you.

Matador is really good, another Almodovar movie. It is somehow even more pulpy than his other movies, but i've seen them in almost reverse chronology.

I previously mentioned what a Q T PIE antonio banderas was...there is a funny part where antonio comes to turn him self in (for attempted rape) and the woman at the police station says, "some girls are too lucky." The common denominator between the two movies was a bullfighter. I have been sort of intrigued with the idea...so i think i'll take my obsessive personality for a stroll down to the library for some leisure reading on spanish bullfighting. Also i will probably dye some socks pink.

another pastime of mine has been reading jane austen. i got a volume of her collected works from savers and just started to read last night. I'm halfway through Emma. I like her writing because its perfect for my mood right now. Her stories are or seem to be about trivial things but then you get wrapped up in them and then you are clued in on character flaws and little lies and secrets and it all becomes this huge deal. society used to be so fun, i get the feeling. everyone goes on and on about things that you as a modern reader feel are none of their damn business. Talking forever about the manners of someone they've never met! So silly and fun to read. Also i have to say that Emma is a tough heroine to get behind, she is really selfish and mislead. BUT THATS HALF THE FUN.

i'm screwed with work, i have no hours at either and will have to get a third just to make one real job. jeez louieezze.

GREEN PORNO

2008-12-29T12:32:00.000-08:00

Isabella Rossellini did these two minute videos for sundance about the mating rituals of insects. i like the bee one best i think.

ELLA DOES IT BETTER

2008-12-29T11:06:00.000-08:00

FATHER

2008-12-28T22:13:00.000-08:00

this is my dad. i don't mean to display him like this, and if he knew these were "on the computer" he wouldn't like it. but when i see him in photos i don't believe we share blood. he is holding two carvings he did out of antler and horn. his house is bedecked in bones and fur and taxidermy.

i think my favourites are the tiny reindeer head and the antler chandelier in his entryway. i didn't get a photo of that because i only see him once a year and it seemed wrong to spend the time photographing his home instead of conversing.

i think i'm becoming one of those family photo blogs where they post for the relations. next i'm going to send out a christmas letter.

GOT ME HOPIN YOU'LL PAGE ME

2008-12-25T20:09:00.000-08:00

still fantastic.

antony/pta mom?

BELLS IN A CAVE

2008-12-18T18:38:00.000-08:00

i recently read a book entitled, Terra Incognita; Travels in Antarctica, by Sara Wheeler. It harkens a return for me to my one-time favourite sort of literature, Travel Writing! I am years away from being able to afford any sort of travel beyond the armchair variety... Some day though. This book is wonderful because it feels like and i think was intended as an introduction to Antarctica. Wheeler quotes all the big names of Antarctic exploration heavily and those were the passages that won me over.

I quote:

"When you look upon such things there comes surging through the confusion of the mind an awareness of the dignity of the earth, of the unaccountable importance of being alive, and the thought comes out of nowhere that unhappiness rises not from lacking as from having too much...And you guess the end of the world will probably look like that, and the last men retreating from the cliffs will look out upon some such horizon, with all things at last in equilibrium, the winds quiet, the sea frozen, the sky composed, and the earth in glacial quietude."

-Richard E. Byrd, from Discovery

Doesn't that just kill you? I'm making a list of books from the bibliography to read.

BORED

2008-12-14T18:47:00.001-08:00

HANNAH IRENE <3 <3

2008-12-09T20:39:00.000-08:00

this is my sister hannah.

this photo's caption on myspace is:

"NEW-I got kicked outta class sooo i took pics"

and here is another, just so you can see her range.

HANNAH I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AND CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.

ANTI ROYALIST TRASH

2008-12-03T12:45:00.000-08:00

i love these propaganda cartoons. i can't find any images of the really dirty stuff. A lot of the pamphlets circulating were about how she was having sex with every man, woman and animal she could find. i know there exist really cool illustrations but i can't find them, which makes me think i should do them myself.

FUN FACT: One euphemism for lesbianism in France was "the german vice" which is sorta funny, but wasn't so great for antoinette, who was from austria.

PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS.

RITA MITSOUKO

2008-11-29T13:55:00.000-08:00

KERAMIC

2008-11-26T14:56:00.000-08:00

weiner werkstatte ceramic.

AITOR THROUP

2008-11-22T17:58:00.000-08:00

art crush, big time. he does clothing and sculpture and draws the most beautiful things. see a fraction of that here on his website. i have been doing sort of planar figures, messing with proportions and exaggerating, giving lines weight...i found him at a good time, serendipitous.

JOHN FEODOROV

2008-11-12T20:11:00.000-08:00

John Feodorov does alot of work that deals with modern societies need for spirituality, and the kitcshy treatment of the existing tribal cultures. i was most impressed by his "Collectibles" series of altered family photos that he added text to from those mail-outs for cheesy porcelain native american statuettes.

I liked too his altered 'see and say.' we all had them, i loved mine (muppet and farm-friends versions.) feodorov made his into a ritualistic implement. i think more than anything i like his work because it establishes this current trend of putting feathers and rainbows on everything in a solid artistic tradition. while i think some contemporaries of mine may or may not share his ideas, it sort of allows me to like their work in spite of a general feeling that it lacks content. of course there is a history of artists working with these ideas, it never stopped from the time when it was simply what people were and did, to what people lack and long-for and try to mimic or reproduce.

it was ignorant of me to think it sprung a year ago from nowhere as a fad. long live animal skulls and neon geometrics!

PERSIAN LAMB

2008-11-12T20:03:00.000-08:00

i'm obsessed with persian lamb. it is the most disgusting beautiful texture ever. its a brain of hair. i am hunting for a coat of it in black.

ROSSY DE PALMA

2008-11-02T16:02:00.000-08:00

i was google imaging the actress Rossy De Palma, for obvious reasons...when i discovered that 1.) pedro almodovar has a blog. 2.) he has a new film due for release in march 2009!

i fall more in love with his movies everytime i see them. and every new one i see becomes a favourite. i recently saw The Law of Desire. incredible! as per usual a synopsis is impossible. i love that he'll have a woman play a transexual man, and a transexual actress (Bibiana Fernandez) play a woman and mother. also i always thought Antonio Banderas was just cheese, but he was a looker when he was young, pre-pony-tail, and a pretty good actor.

i could go on and on but just watch his films.

i still need to see High Heels, Labyrinth of Passions, Pepi, Luci, Bom, What Have I done to Deserve This?, and Matador.

LIKE A GHOST

2008-10-28T11:15:00.000-07:00

i'm leaving minneapolis when my lease is up. i can feel changes, they are a commin. i generally mourn things for a really long time before realizing that my reasons for doing so are dumb or at least misguided. i did in the end get alot from being here. i'm gonna float on out, and up! I WISH IT WAS ON THIS, THE MANNED CLOUD.

Passion Pit, "Sleepyhead"

Hercules and Love Affair, "Blind"

Antony and the Johnsons, "Shake That Devil"

i've been doing work again! i'm sort of letting a comic idea bake. also some patterns.

JOAN

2008-10-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

i'm really interested in joan of arc lately. i saw a film entitled "The Passion of Joan of Arc." really intense silent film of her trial and burning. the actress who plays her is really beautiful and she has these really deep crazy eyes. the film has an interesting back-story. the original was lost in a fire, eventually a version very close to the original was found in a mental hospital in Norway, in a janitor's closet. i recommend seeing it, its beautiful. i was turned onto it by the stills.

Did you know that the technical reason they had for burning her was a law from biblical times about gender specific dress codes?

LAUREN KALMAN

2008-10-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

i've been craving material possessions of late. i don't know what that is. i think my slightly bolstered income=me thinking i can afford things. i'm still scraping by for bread, don't be fooled.

this woman's work spoke to that obsessive little spender in me though. i read her artists statement about these monstrous beauties. the series is called "hard wear" and she uses expensive coveted materials and produces these growths that look pus filled and painful. some do inflect physical pain. watch the video of her stringing the pearls through her teeth which can be found on her website.

timely i think. did i learn a lesson though? because now i want that gigantic-gross-golden-gum-goiter.

http://www.laurenkalman.com/lauren/Hard_Wear.html
(linking?)

P.S. REMEMBER WHEN MY FACE WAS INFECTED AND WENT TO THE E.R. TO REMOVE THE PIERCING IT REMINDS ME OF THAT, YES.

ROOMFULS

2008-09-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

DIANA ROSS IS THE BOSS

2008-09-20T01:45:00.000-07:00

i can't stop talking about diana ross, to people-anyone who is standing still near me for any amount of time. i love the way she moves. like a cat that has swallowed a bird whole and has it moving around in it's belly, if you get that. and moves! she has got em. and her music, solo or with the supremes...supremes tunes actually remind me of my childhood, partly because of sister act, and also because my dad's ex girlfriend marlene always had the oldies station on.

watch these videos from her 1983 concert in central park. epic.

here is what andy warhol said in his diaries about it:

"I could never really describe the Diana Ross concert in Central Park. The sky darkened and the rain came and it was the most incredible thing i've ever seen. Just the event of the century-her hair blowing and soaking wet...it was like a dream, like a hallucination, watching this spectacle. It was like the greatest scene from a movie ever. When they do her life story in the movies you can just see this huge event and then later she's crying and saying, "Why did this happen to me?" and then drinking and slitting her wrists. But oh, the thunder and lightning looked so great. So beautiful."

-Andy Warhol.

FALL

2008-09-18T01:45:00.000-07:00

i want a suit. a really nice tailored suit. one that looks like these.

i also want a new winter coat. One that looks something like this.

and I found this clothing line called Obedient Sons. They are sort of following this collegiate thing thats happening, but with a name like that its okay. I always wanted to come from old money. And there is something Gatsby-esque about the details...i love the pant leg being just slightly too short, socks showing.

my new style icon is the late Yves St Laurent. He was the ultimate dandy when he was young.

OH MY GAWD WHAT

2008-08-07T22:47:00.000-07:00

FACT: Molly's bike was stolen from the entry of my old apt about three weeks ago.

FACT: i posted about twenty times on craigslist with an attitude and detailed description of the bike.

FACT: every time, the theif flagged the posting for removal.

FACT: about three days ago i stopped a gorgeous older officer in uptown, asked him what could be done, he said nothing.

FACT: yesterday i went on a rampage with noah and naomi looking for a couch for noah's new apt.

FACT: we got lost in st paul, in a seedy area.

FACT: we stop to turn around, see a gold beat up bike on the sidewalk. someone says, look a bike. i say in a joking way, i'm getting out to see if it's molly's. i pick it up. IT IS FUCKING MOLLY'S BIKE IN ST PAUL MILES AND MILES AWAY FROM ANYTHING I KNEW EXISTED. we put it in the car. a lady opens her window and says, is that your bike, its been here for a few hours, and i didnt know what to do. i say, yeah, it was stolen a while ago from my apt in uptown mpls.

FACT: i immediatley got a headache and also believed in some sort of higher power.

is this not amazing, i can't wrap my head around it. the chances of me being on that street. the chances of me being in st paul (that was really like the third time) the chances the chances the chances... the bike was fizucked but deff molly's. i'm not out $100, molly's isn't out a bike. one up god.

YURI NORSTEIN

2008-08-06T03:58:00.001-07:00

GOODBYE APARTMENT

2008-07-30T23:21:00.000-07:00

i'm going to miss this apartment.

roof-top meals, right in the middle of everything whittier has to offer, spyhouse, our tangerine-dream walls, the care-takers thelma and louise, the back porch, the front stoop, knowing that (for a while) nobody else lived in the building and being loud loud, smoking in the bathroom while applying false eyelashes, ben playing guitar in bedroom bathroom living room porch, brief kitten disaster, slideshows......

GAULTIER

2008-07-16T17:48:00.000-07:00

jean paul gaultier, summer/spring 07

SONGS FOR SUMMER

2008-07-13T17:27:00.001-07:00

these are some of the songs i'm stuck on right now. give the final fantasy track some patience, its worth it.

MELTING MELTING

2008-07-10T13:31:00.000-07:00

warhol ice cream drawings. these are so beautiful, they make me want to cry.

most handsome popsicle:

and the first installment of: IF I WAS A DRAG QUEEN/ SUMMER EDITION:

somebody take me to duluth.

IMPOSSIBLE

2008-07-08T21:27:00.000-07:00

unrequited love is the worst. atleast mine won't maul me to death.

NEW OBSESSION PEOPLE WHO LIVE WITH BEARS.

"we need more rain, melissa is eating her babies!" thank you timothy treadwell, for putting it all into perspective for me.

EXPLODE

2008-07-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

i took two drags of a cigarette today. i don't feel guilty, but i know i should. i learned though that smoking is tied to how i'm feeling confidence wise. low confidence, high nicotine intake. i knew that alreadyyyyy. a hiccup, to be sure, but a tiny one and i'm drinking from the far side of the cup...

i now have two jobs. the childrens theatre and cvs. i feel like these are just transitional jobs. i am actually really jazzed about the theatre, but i got an email today, letting me know that i'll be expected to wear mouse ears during the performances. JOB PERKS.

meet papito.

o and i'm hoping to see a whole bunch of fire works!

ALL THAT GLITTERS

2008-06-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

i did this drawing with one micah lidberg, a talented illustrator hailing from kansas city missouri. his page is linked at right.
it isn't done yet. only five months in the making and counting. a real honor. impossible to photograph.

above is my favourite part of the entire drawing. where the gold is sort of translucent and it blends with the underlaying colour. its divine.

SHOUT HALLELUJAH COME ON GET HAPPY

2008-06-25T11:26:00.000-07:00

i tried really hard not to like judy garland, but i just can't. she is fizzy and peppy and sad and lovely. i have been listening to the "trolley song" from meet me in st louis

and "get happy"

and "born in a tunk" from a star is born

over and over and over. and while i'm at liza isn't bad either. so i'll throw in "new york new york"

UPDATES: i have quit smoking. i'm on day eleven or twelve. i really feel good about it. i still want them really bad once in a while, it seems around ten to ten thirty at night when i see carrie bradshaw do it is hardest. damn her.
i have noticed that i really really can taste better, and smell better, and actually me myself smell better. and all that energy i put into smoking i have funneled into pittying all the people who still smoke. thinking its sexy and stuff. they aren't wise like me, they aren't seeing the light that they can be, no siree! they'll pay for their short-sightedness!
i guess its common to have attacks even months later, where you JUST HAVE TO INHALE CIGARETTE SMOKE, but that they last only a few minutes. AND CIGARETTES CONTAIN THE ADDITIVE AMBERGRIS OTHERWISE KNOWN AS WHALE VOMMIT, i don't understand the chemistry there...

UPDATES: i was just hired at the minneapolis children's theatre. i will also be working with one molly manning. and hundreds of children. and i'll see the shows for free. my only concern is that i find a good pair of black skinny slacks, not those baggy horrible pleated things...we'll see.

LEE MILLER AND ALSO MALE MODELS

2008-06-11T15:44:00.000-07:00

lee miller was a fashion model, fashion photographer, surrealist muse, war photographer/reporter. she worked sporadically over several decades, from the thirties to the sixties. i don't generally have a strong reaction to photography. i love lee miller's work though. i think my response is in part universal. as a war-time photo journalist for vogue she took photographs of post war concentration camps, including many of the piles of human corpses that were left after the furnaces ran out of gas. we have all seen these sorts of pictures and they are all shocking. lee millers work though also includes photos of various german officers, and prison/camp gaurds immediatley after the war. these are what really turned me on to her, i hadn't seen anything like them before. there are several that she took of the gaurds at buchenwald, that are incredible. after the surviving prisoners were released they attacked the gaurds and beat them, some to death. images of the german nazi officers that commited suicide, their bodies lay in their offices and homes surrounded by rubble and personal possessions. she must have had incredible luck, if thats the right term for finding dead nazis, or timing. she even found her way to one of hitler's homes, and used his bathtub. she took a nap in eva braun's bed in her villa.

i find these things hard to believe, and those are only two out of many experiences she had. she lived in egypt, paris, london, new york city, and traveled everywhere in between. she was gorgeous, and worked for vogue. she was intimate friends with man-ray and picasso, she just lived this incredible life. it makes me feel so lazy, and really i am just so lazy.

its strange that she was covering these really intense violent subjects and travelling with huge numbers of men/soldiers, while working for a superficial publication aimed at rich women. her input made vogue sort of broaden their output and content to include real news.

which leads me to how i spent atleast an hour last night looking at top male models on the huge number of blogs and websites dedicated to models and their agencies. i didn't realize that some peoples interest is models. thats what they read about when they have free time. thats the sort of info they memorize and share with friends, who is doing the new dior runway for fall and winter 09. so wierd. and i don't recommend you spend your time to do this, if ever you felt the urge. it makes you feel monstrously ugly. and then you just want to work in the industry so you can stare at beautiful people all day, and i have also gathered that modeling is one of the few careers in which they encourage you to drink chamagne on the job.

ALGEBRA 2

2008-05-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

that last post is bodega. bodega is a new slang term that i made up and will never utter again after typing it here. it means mega-dumb-bogus...also a synonym for convenience store in northeastern states in the continental u.s.? its inaccuracy and just dumbness shouldn't prevent you from using it though i guess.

miriam makeba is an amazing singer from south africa, who worked mostly in the seventies and eighties. her real gold comes from when she first started was young and before she did benefits with paul simon and 'mother-land' compilations and stuff. i think her most beautiful song is called "where does it lead" its really sad/sweet/humid/palm frondy. really though its all great. i wish she was my grandma. here is some of that.

FAT HEAD

2008-05-05T18:01:00.000-07:00

I forgot that i loved several things. novels set in india, written by young indian authors. english history, like henry the eighth, his six wives and their offspring. alanis morisette, because like her or not, there is a song in her discography that allows venting for any situation, see "hands clean" for something about my current one, kinda. and american sign language. why on earth would i abandon these?

should i move to denver? would this be a step backward? or is that just the stigma of being from wyoming and seeing it as an easy way out? a good question, although minnesota, having fucking glorious summers, still isn't really the right fit. so then where to? new york=cliche, california=cliche. i would have to think twice before turning down calcutta, guatemala, or anywhere in europe. what!? i don't have the money or the common sense to do any of those...so i guess i'm stuck in the teeth of the gainful-employment beast. how dreadful.

do you trust friends, no matter how fantastic, after a major breach of trust and respect? or do you forgive but not forget? and how do you keep someone from forgetting their wrong, without harping on it? i think its hard to say, because i feel like any fun or true friendship from here on out is slightly tainted, and would make it seem like what has happened didn't matter, when it most certainly matters. does the way i'm wording this blog make it apparent that i've watched too much of bri's sex and the city boxed set? is big really the right man for carrie since its all but sure that they marry in the upcoming feature length film out may thirtieth?

too many questions.

please make reading this worth your time by listening to MGMT's song entitled "time to pretend"

MORE DREAMS

2008-04-15T11:38:00.001-07:00

i have been dreaming soooo much as of late. maybe its because, as brianne pointed out, our home has alot of things 'that look like they affect your dreams' i take this as a compliment, but i think she meant that i am a witch.

i think dreams are really telling, and i like to have them written down somewhere, so here are the two that i remember clearly from last night, but there were many more.

1:
i was on a bus, a schoolbus but not for school. we had hillary on board (hillary clinton) on board and we dropped her off and we turned to leave the bus stop area, but somehow she was back on the bus. as we pulled out of the area, we passed chelsea on the sidewalk (chelsea clinton) and ahe had a stack of files and she looked angry and she mouthed, "mom what!?" i assume because she was supposed to be meeting her mother. Hillary then mouthed back "i need some snow" for plants was my guess. ?

then we were flying over a snowy wyoming looking field, i was flying with hillary and we were carrying a metal bucket between us. we landed and were collecting snow. Hillary then peed on her foot and into her shoe. I guess because she needed to melt the snow. END OF DREAM.

2:
i was in middle school. we had a school-wide assignment to write about a native american peoples. it was the day that we had to dress up in traditional dress and paint our faces and give our presentations. I met a girl from my class in the bathroom, and she asked me what tribe i had picked. i realized then that i didnt have a tribe picked out, or for that matter, a paper written. i nonchalantly asked how long her paper was, and she said "realy longey" and i said, "oh." i had spent all night doing my face paint and hadn't written the paper. i told her that i had picked one of the plains peoples and that i was going to finish my paper up at lunch. i think she knew i hadnt written my paper. its important to note that in the dream this girl wanted to be my friend, but that i was afraid of her. then another girl came in riding a bike, but in place of tires was alot of hanging yarn. the girl i was afraid of told me that i had better go, so i left the bathroom. END OF DREAM.

ridiculous right? and the wierdes thing i think, is that i don't believe i've ever had a flying dream before, and now i have but it was with hillary rodham clinton.

should i be blogging about serious things?

interesting fact that i bet the entire rest of the world already knew. when a tree is cut down, it releases carbon dioxide that it had been storing to convert to oxygen, and thats the real reason its bad to cut down trees. do people know this? i always saw it more as a loss of habitat thing, but its more. you see, carbon dioxide levels affect global warming. huh. something new every day. thanks jean michel cousteau!

RAIN

2008-04-06T14:49:00.000-07:00

i read catcher in the rye, i cried. i had been avoiding reading it because you know, its one of those books. i actually thought it was about baseball...oh man it makes me wonder what other things i've completely mis-judged, and i'll never get to know or understand. i think thats sort of the lesson for me.

BEAUTIFUL

2008-04-03T13:11:00.000-07:00

its so nice out, i just shared a meal on our roof with ann and some neighbours, and i seriously couldn't be happier about spring and summer being here. to get a feeling of my mood, here is the human league.

i found this artist named chris verene, photographer performance artist. he does this thing called the SELF ESTEEM SALON, where depressed people come, put on costumes, build sets, and enact their dreams and wishes and fears in verene's studio space. all as an attempt to show them that they play a part in their identity/happiness/destiny. i love the campiness of the resulting photography, and i want to exist in them.

SUMMER IS HERE SOON GUYS!

EASTER SUNDAY

2008-03-23T13:49:00.000-07:00

ben and i are reading aloud from the bible and listening to the white stripes.

ANTIDILUVIAN CRAFTS WITH YARN AND GLUE

2008-03-08T18:34:00.000-08:00

i learned from my dear friend ann (pictured above), how to crochet. this is dangerous, because i already have the tendency to hole up and resemble in too many ways-an old woman, i like to imagine an icelandic old woman...

so, i started with these chains:

i graduated to this hat:

and i am inspired to continue-and achieve things like this tree sweater:

this brain:

this coral reef:

and these goats by artist Ming Yi Sung:

oh and bjorks dress:

i am trying to figure out what my interest and budding obsession for all things yarn means...i think it is 1: a coulour thing
2: a texture thing and 3: something to do with the fact that a thin strand of fiber can add up to something useful or beautiful, continuous organic growth, and just the utility of the objects. Also one of my favourite songs ever is Joanna Newsom's "Yarn and Glue" so thats probably something.

DIANE AND PHOEBE

2008-03-07T06:23:00.000-08:00

i had a dream that went like this:

my mom worked for Diane Von Furstenberg, designer of the wrap dress and sometimes judge on project runway. all of this was in minneapolis, because diane was having a birthday-dinner/business-meeting at saiwat-dee, or passage to india? both were mentioned in the dream. i think i worked for her too, because the conflict in the dream was whether or not i should go to the dinner alone, or with my mom. so i guess i was invited in some way...anyway, i fought with my mom over whether or not i could go. i woke up when i ran into my room and cried on the bed, thats right, over diane's dinner party-business meeting.

Then, you know how dreams are...i was biking around like a suburb with pheobe cates and i was training her to ride a bike or something, i remember her saying, "thank you, seriously this bike is really cheap for me" or something like that.

oh man it sucks to hear someone talking about their dreams, especially when they say, "or something" alot.

again i wonder if this means anything, i wish that my life was this though, because i always thought i'd get along with pheobe...she seems real.

OLOF ARNALDS

2008-02-29T03:53:00.000-08:00

really really great. this song klara is just what i needed to pull me into spring, which is so close, i can taste it.

RECENTS

2008-02-17T21:12:00.000-08:00

my recently taken polaroids. polaroid recently announced that they will discontinue the production of their film for instant cameras...what would andy think?

http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/08/polaroid-abandons-instant-photography/

NOSTALGIA

2008-02-13T12:41:00.000-08:00

THE B-52s

i remember riding in the car with my mom and sister and my mom was teaching hannah the words to "hot-pants" which is one of my favourite memories, hannah was maybe seven, and i was what eleven? i don't know, its funny because that song is sorta dirty, it was playing really loud, and we were all laughing.

and the summer before moving to minnesota i listened to them for like three months non stop, they were the only tapes in my car, them and madonna, and best of bowie. they make me want my family, and summer, and a little bit wyoming, like the drive to laramie.

anyway they are brilliant and fun, and if you think they are just "rock lobster", you are mistaken. They have a new album coming out called FUNPLEX, in march, so keep an eye out, i heard some of it and the lyric that stuck was, "I'm at the mall, and on a diet pill!!" so they haven't missed a beat.

OBAMA-RAMA

2008-02-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

i volunteered for the barack obama campaign yesterday.

i went as a volunteer because molly's mom lisa is a precinct captain for obama. the event sold-out to twenty thousand in less than twenty four hours and volunteering seemed like a good way to inform myself and also see the next president of the united states speak in person. i went in thinking that i was going to be handing out buttons and the like...not the case.

we (brianne, lisa, joel, and naomi) were put into the special needs assistance group, helping handi-capped and disabled folks to their seats. probably one of the better jobs, but still really stressful. bri and joel went through the gigantic lines asking for people with disabilities to come forward if they felt they needed help to their seats...naomi and i were posted in the lobby, basically to keep everybody informed and happy until we could then escort them to the elevators and then their seats. there was problems with fold-out chairs and what have you...i think i was treated the way i was because i'm young, and inexperienced and in no position to argue with them as authority figures, but i found that i have little patience with brassy haired women with clipboards, walkie-talkies and a bad attitude.

after alot of hulabaloo and working for maybe three hours we did finally get to find seats, nose-bleed section seats...and see him via the screen cube thing. i was told by molly that i would get goosebumps hearing him speak. she is slightly biased, but the girl told no lie. the skeptic in me says that i would have gotten goosebumps watching a poodle do tricks on a skateboard in a stadium of twenty thousand people with a genuine enthusiasm for trick poodles...maybe not. he spoke with an urgency, he seemed like he had to get these words out, i think thats where it comes from, his speaking power. the things he said were what i thought he'd say, "health care for every american" and "we are gonna end this war in iraq" but those of course are wonderful things. i think that he will do those things.

I was especially interested in what he was saying when he started talking about making college affordable...we'll see obama, we will see.

***on a superficial note: there were two men in the group of two-hundred volunteers, and i fell in love with them. one of them was carrying a sign that said "NORWEGIANS FOR OBAMA" with the norwegian flag on it, and he also had a really exspensive looking digital slr camera with a lense the size of a tree trunk. the other looked like beck but with dark hair. later the volunteers gathered in a small room, under? behind? the stadium and we were getting a picture taken with obama as a group. everyone in charge had these silly, tiny digital cameras and the beautiful blonde one said in his norwegian accent, "you can use my kam er ah, it is proffessional digital kam er ah here" but nobody listened. we did get a picture and it was thrilling to be in a small room with obama himself.

don't forget to caucus for the senator tuesday: http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/mnlookupsem

SUCH DREAMS AS THESE

2008-01-31T20:51:00.001-08:00

i have been having really vivid dreams recently, what with all this sleeping. last night i dreamed that me and my family were swimming in this gigantic lake. there were like pine trees growing under the water, and as you swam your legs got poked by the needles. the sky was huge and stormy and beautiful. we swam and swam and swam and eventually we arrived at the other side. a moment of the dream stands out, it was just me, my face the only thing sticking out of the water, i was swirling my self around with my arms, and the water was freezing an it was getting into my mouth. nothing drastic happened but i remember when we all got to the other side, i felt really elated and accomplished. there was no danger or rush...we were just swimming in silence for a really long time. and the other side was the same as the shore that we left.

i realized upon waking that i dream of water alot, and ships, and whales. i don't know what this means, and i don't really believe that there are universal symbols in dreams. water means something for me and something else for you. atleast i think thats what i think. i'm going to start keeping a dream journal.

SHE'S CRAFTY ETC.

2008-01-15T09:11:00.000-08:00

i have fallen deeply profoundly in love. her name is mary ann heagerty, and i think that between her, her yarn installation/set, and quirky comedic timing, we are gonna be really happy together. plus i mean look at a bitch. and associations with james st james, my absolute idol. well, call me: signed sealed delivered.

SLEEPING SICKNESS

2008-01-14T18:25:00.000-08:00

today is the second day i slept. slept until eight p.m. i don't know what this is, but i do worry that i am becoming a disney princess afflicted by some horrible curse.

when i'm not sleeping though, i am pro.duct.ive. look how i painted that model horse to be the same as my wall and towel.

AROUND HERE

2008-01-07T21:39:00.000-08:00

benjmain and i painted the apartment. "sweet tangerine dream" is what matt at ace-hardware called it. i love matt at ace hardware. we kyped the colour directly out of the royal tenenbaums. i think it makes things look less poor.

BACK IN THE RING

2007-12-31T01:34:00.000-08:00

It feels good to be home. i'm ready to lay some hurt on it, minneapolis.

ALMODOVAR

2007-12-20T23:01:00.000-08:00

So I'm obsessed with this director from Spain, Pedro Almodovar. I have seen five of his films now and they get better and better. The most recent one I watched was Kika. There is a rape scene that is so hilareous. Its supposed to be. The main character Kika is raped by an ex-porn star and escaped criminal who also happens to be her lesbian maid's brother. Its just absurd because during the rape, which is super long due to the rapist's porn star stamina, Kika starts mentioning all the chores she has to do, and how her back hurts...she gets bored of reacting with terror. I think this is prime. Its super pop. I'm reading this book about Almodovar, and I guess they call him the spanish Andy Warhol, because he started doing 8mm underground movies in the seventies. Around the same time Andy was doing his films, or rather Paul Morrisey. The rape scene reminds me of a similiar scene in Women in Revolt.

The movie gets really serious, but throughout he uses this really great humour to keep it from sinking in. The tape I rented was really badly dubbed too, which only added to the experience. Kika is like really Sally Jesse Raphael if you get that. or Ricky Lake-ish. The whole aesthetic is so pastel and tacky and dated and just kitsch. I'm in love with it.

Anyway I'm into his films and I suggest you watch them. The ones I've seen so far:

Bad Education- really beautiful movie about among other things, trannies, brothers and catholics.
Talk To Her-a woman in a coma gets pregnant...questions are asked.
Volver-penelope cruz' mom. ghost or not? also disposing of body.
All About My Mother-again, trannies, motherhood, and forgiving the unforgivable.
Kika-main character is in deep shit but doesn't really get it.

NEAT

2007-12-12T21:11:00.000-08:00

proverbial chill-pill popped. its easy for me to get caught up in things, i am sort of short-sighted. this is why i can bead my shoes for hours, and not realize my cigarette has burnt through my rug to the floor. its a perspective thing. i'll work small, even given a huge piece of paper, i'll draw tiny, and in a corner. i have trained myself to be un-obtrusive. that might be laughable though because some people know me as loud-mouthed, selfish, bossy, and 'so gay when i'm drunk.' we all got angles.

this next year is going to be good i think. lets toast to an education/career in a passion, friends, eyes wide open, being young, AND UBER-POSI-CORE-BLOGS ABOUT GROWING AND SELF AWARENESS!!!!

things i want/ like looking at right now:

the closest image i could find to my car.

DRIPPING LIKE A CROCODILE

2007-12-11T15:32:00.000-08:00

i wish i could be less bothered by this. i need to take a chill pill. things don't always go according to plan. whatevskis.